I’ve been working on some personal issues lately. I had some huge losses in my life as a teenager, which I am realizing now have followed me into middle adulthood. As I work through them, I have had some realizations and A-HA moments all over the place. I will start with a first A-HA moment that have led to a chain reaction of others.
First of all, the loss that I experienced as a teenager was the loss of my parents within a five month span. I can remember as a child that I always worried that my parents might die and that worse case scenario actually came true. Now I realize that I immediately go to the worse case scenario when issues arise in my life because at the one time, the worse case scenario DID come true. So that is my starting point.
I have issues with my supervisor. In my head, I go to the worse case scenario because of my history. I have nothing to prove that some of the things I assume from her actions are true, but I still go THERE…to the worse case scenario. Okay…so I understand why I go to that extreme now what do I do? Here is where the other A-HAs have come into play.
a-ha moment #1
I bought a book several months ago The Universe Has Your Back by Gabby Bernstein (affiliate link). I was cleaning out a shelf….putting some books on half.com and I came across that book. Since I just finished another self-care book, I thought I’d start reading my find. The introduction of the book talked about “freedom from fear so you can return to peace”. Reference was made to the fact that even though we want to feel better and improve ourselves, we are stuck in our patterns of negativity because it is what we know and we don’t want to venture out into the unknown. Truth!!! My interpretation of this is LET IT GO.
a-ha moment #2
I have numerous podcasts that I subscribe to and have started to listen to them during my commute, which I haven’t done in months. I subscribe to The Model Health Show with Shawn Stevenson. There are about 60 episodes in my queue…yikes. I decided to listen to the oldest episode in the queue from February 2016…Mind Over Medicine with Dr. Lissa Rankin. She talks about how she was a traditional medical doctor and felt like she was drowning in the managed medical world. Her schedule went from meeting with 25 patients a day to 40, which gave her 7-1/2 minutes with each patient.
She quit and decided to go into a more naturopathic practice where she could meet with each patient for an hour. Dr. Rankin said she wasn’t even prescribing medicine, but just listening to patients because she had the time and they were healing!!!! The process of her listening put the patients into a relaxation response which improved the healing process. Another truth…having the relaxation response makes us feel better. My interpretation of this…again…LET IT GO.
a-ha moment #3
While perusing my podcasts, I looked for a mediation podcast and found Meditation Minis with Chel Hamilton. I LOVE this podcast. I’ve wanted to incorporate meditation into my wellness repertoire for a long time and this was just what I needed. I chose episode 9: Meditation to Let Worries and Stress Drift Away. This guided meditation talked about thinking of all your worries as a balloon that you let just drift away…truth #3. My interpretation of this…you guessed it…LET IT GO.
So I guess I’m going to make like Elsa/Anna and LET IT GO!!! I felt like all these messages from the universe were synchronized to point me in the right direction towards healing myself. What are your go-to, self-healing resources?? I’d love to hear about your successes.
Ha!!! I sing “Let it go” to myself and my kids all the time. Those sound like amazing resources. I’ll have to check them out. I just wrote about one of my new favorite books, it sounds like something you’d like. Keep having more aha moments!
I’d love to know the name of that book? Always looking for good reads…thanks Kim
I’m truly sorry about your parents…I’ve suffered great losses in my life as well, it’s hard to come back from when the pain is so real and raw….but I’m glad that you’ve reached your A-ha moment. Keep at it.
Thank you Christa
I’ve come to similar conclusions in the past year. There are a lot of things I need to let go of! Let’s all grow to be happier, healthier, and more aware of why we do things. 🙂
So true…letting go will make our souls lighter:)
I am so sorry about your parents. Sending you love and prayers <3 also love gabby <3
Thank you Rachel:)
wow, losing both of your parents at a young age must have been tough. i’m for your loss. glad you continue to learn and grow (:
Thanks Jessica
I’m sorry to hear that things are not going as well as you would like with your boss. Hopefully they improve. Often times what we perceive is not the actual case!
I’m reading another Gabrielle Bernstein book now in addition to the one I put in the post and I know that perception can be very different from what is actually going on.
This is such a powerful post. You are finding ways to make yourself stronger. You are never going to forget your parents, but you are finding ways to accept and be a strong adult, knowing your parents are with you always. Thank you for sharing this with us. Keep doing what you’re doing and learn to love your life again.
Thank you so much Trish…I love your comment:)
First off I want to say how deeply sorry I am for the loss of your parents. I can’t imagine.
I am always trying to improve myself but you are right. We get stuck in our patterns of negativity. Thank you for sharing. i look forward to reading more of what you have to say through your blog. hugs.
Thanks Kim, I appreciate your support
I am so sorry to hear about your parents and that you lost them at such a young age. That must have been incredibly hard. I cannot even begin to fathom.
I haven’t experienced a tremendous loss like a parent although my grandparents were vital people in my life. I lost them in my late 20’s.
I love that you are becoming self aware – that you are evaluating your bigger picture and readjusting and creating a space for yourself. While we are on different paths, I too am learning that I need to create a space for me – one that is more positive and that involves letting go of things that are toxic and stops me from growing.
I really need to look up this meditation podcast because I love meditation.
Keep doing what you’re doing. xoxo
Thank you Kimberly…it’s so true about letting go of the toxicity. If it were something making us physically sick, we’d stay away from it or get rid of it. If it’s making our soul sick, we also need to get rid of it.
I’m sorry to hear about your parents, but I’m happy to hear that you have found some ways to cope with your grief!
Thanks Beth
Sometimes letting go can be hard. I know I hold grudges at times but over time I have learned it’s not worth it. I hope that your journey with “letting it go” is a positive one in order to heal you positively.
Thank you Mistle
Great post mate. I am enlightened. Thanks
I am sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents when I was quite grown up, and it was shattering – I can only try and imagine how hard could have been losing them at a young age.
I agree that letting go might be the better strategy. It’s not easy, and it takes practice, but in the long run it works.
Definitely worth the hard work.
I’m sorry to hear about your past, but am glad that you are making strides to become a stronger you. I have yet to listen to a podcast, but these sound great!
If you like to do guided meditations, Meditation Minis is awesome!!!!